I Want You to Stay
Traversing through adult relationships.
The bolts make land fall and spread into my nervous system, causing the multitude of emotions, flickering about in my body. There is no shelter, because the violent tremors are housed in my flesh, trapped in the maze of my thoughts. I’ve tried to reason my way through the currents that mutate into streams of lava. I panic when I feel the rim of my eyes grow warm and overflow with tears. I cannot hide the reoccurring feelings of abandonment, though I am well enough not to speak of it in the presence of others to protect myself, still I am in need.
Paralyzed by the current that has metastasized, I lament in the void of silence, suffering in what feels cancerous. My smile shakes. It is no longer confident in the reasons, and it is now just something I do to ease the tension in my spine. Vividly, I remember the feeling of abandonment and the aftertaste remained. The absences persist and the void perseveres as I was never able to recreate all that was lost. I cling to the only relationship I managed to successfully build only to ruminate over the possibilities of another loss.
“I just want you to stay.”
No matter how far you grow past my own potential, I do not wish to be forgotten and set aside. I know people grow apart, but a tree never dreams of separating from the ground. A flower never dreams of life without its petals. Grappling in existence with labored breaths as I wrestle with our growing pains, praying for victory.
